Even in the place I am now, a difficult place for me personally, physically, and emotionally, I find my spirit strong and resilient. I find that the physical pain I am enduring throughout the day, opens my inner well to the depths of God, His very Presence is with me in that reality, and very real and very tangible. He hears my aching cries. He soothes my soul. He stills my racing heart. He calms my anxiety and concerns. His still small voice, is so silent, at times I do not hear Him, but I know He is Present with me in this very moment. Every step. Every moment. Every breath. God is in perfect union with me in all that I am, and all I am going through. There is nothing. There is NO THING that takes Him off guard or surprises Him. He is in that place, in that moment, with my everything breath, He syncopates with my very own breath and heart beat. Such is the Oneness. Such is the union.
Such is the depth of loving embrace and life giving love that I am experiencing at this time in my life. I do not question why I am not healed. I know He is with me. I do not question why I feel the pain. He already knows. He stills everthing to nano seconds of time. Very real and tangible. When I take the time and embrace each moment, whether it is ecstatic joy or flinching pain, I feel Him. He doesn’t have to say anything. He is there and He comforts me and loves on me and just keeps on loving me. I am His child. He is my God. He loves me more and better than anyone could ever possibly love me. He never rejects me. And now, at my weakest, He comes and rests with me, and in the Spirit, He carries me when I cannot carry myself. Such is the mystical union I have with Christ. Such is the love I have for my Lord Jesus. In my joy I celebrate Him. In my grief and sorrow and pain, I choose to celebrate Him, for in these aches I find just some speck of a measure of understanding of all the wounds and sorrows He has borne for all of humanity. Who am I to complain? Who am I to be bitter? Who am I to cry out about unanswered prayers? He has never once abandoned me. It was just my selfishness and my lack of awareness that put an invisible divide between the Lord and I, and yet in His mercy He has remained, and He lifts the veil, to reveal to me once more His beauty, His grace, His love.
Oh how lovely the Lord is. How beautiful He is. How compassionate He is. I have nothing to complain about. I the most blessed of men. I belong to Christ Jesus, and He belongs to me. Peace. Rest. Trusting.